You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
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Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
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Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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