I can't watch pbs sober anymore
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
