just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
