Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
