Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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