You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
