OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize