So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize