And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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