Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
this beer tastes like vomit already
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
