I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
