I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Your cock deserves a montage
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
