She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize