In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
