I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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