Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
