All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
