I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
