It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize