Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize