ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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