she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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