I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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