i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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