We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
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If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
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It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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