And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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