Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
