no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
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