I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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