Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
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My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
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After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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