just come out here and I will go home with you...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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