I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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