I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
