Taylor Swift is so right about you.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
