kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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