True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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