u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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