Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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