We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
