Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Betty ford says i'm here all night
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
