I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
