garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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