please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
whose parrot is this?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
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