PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
my shit smells like andre
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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