He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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