just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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