Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I think your dad took our porno
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
