Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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