I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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