it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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