Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
