New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
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She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
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I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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