She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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