Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
