Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
